Life of a Friend

At a party, it was all going fine except minor disappointments, it was all going well when everyone then sprouted depression, i was so caught up in trying to help my friends as much as i could although none of them would let me talk to them, i got frustrated, i sat outside for an hour at least thinking about my existence and what i was put on earth for yet again. it was said i was needed as a friend was having bowel problems, i helped him out and then said i will not come out until someone needed me. 2 hours later, a friend of mine was angered to a certain extent of that not many people can cool him down, i cooled him down in about an hour or two. Which extended my theories on my my existence. i then distinctively remember being sat on the bed after being blacked out when a friend of mine had an attack or something. i was checking his blood pressure, his breathing and put him in the rest position, he was fine after but i feel as if i did the wrong thing, 2 more following attacks happened and i was there to try and help him through them. i felt as if i did the wrong thing, i felt as if my existence thoughts clouded my judgement, seeing as i know first aid and CPR, i failed him, if i was a medical attired job , i would have failed and maybe of cost a life.i wouldn't of lived with myself. After that, i couldn't sleep for a while, i started to get so depressed i thought there was nothing to make me happy again. Not even a day has passed and i am shocked and i keep reflecting on what i could've done.

Friends

Friends are what keep me going in life. I'm so glad to have them although i don't deserve them. Today i realised who my real friends are and who i can trust in our little group. There are a few who i can personally trust, gossip flies fast near us. But it wasn't hard to pick my true friends out of the list, these are friends that haven't done anything to hurt me, i respect them so much and wish them well. they know who they are lol. examples are too much effort atm. i don't see why friends bitch or argue or whatever, i don't understand. it's probs all about insecurities or differences which they can't find time to accept the differences and move on. I have more friends that have the same genuine personality then any other. Most are smart but do not use their intelligence, good looking but don't realise it, they think they're hard but hide their courage. Some are major attention seekers, don't get me wrong i am a attention seeker quite a bit but i know we all have a side of that, some more than others. I just suddenly realised that i am one to take the bullet of a friend even when it's the most stupid of circumstances, it raises so many questions.Most of us are like characters of an anime series called death note. Tom - L- the super awesum and amazingly clever detective.
George - Near - Near is L's suessor, maybe not being as clever, he is still really clever.
Me - Light - a genius in his school, is a killer called kira using the death note. I can name many more but i am too lazy to do more example this time. I dedicate my lives to my friends. I love you all.

The Real Me

This is my first blog ever, i feel that i'm a liar and user. I have a fix that i must fulfill. I have an obsession to help people when not needing help. I sometimes cause their trouble without them realising it's actually me. I'm a depressing emo git. Thanks to my mates i am able to keep sane. i think i have an electrifying personality but my mental power is very weak. i decide to fixate on mi id and not my ego. i like to think i am stronger than anyone else but i am not. I have told a few lies to be able to fixate on my id or addiction, i will not give examples. i am dedicated to my girlfriend kathi and my mates and i mean true mates. George - You Have given me the strength in my mind to attempt to overcome my id and to produce psychological theories, Dan - You, i idolise, you are not afraid to be yourself and your are not afraid to be affectionate to anyone, that i respect. tom - you are the smartest guy i know, you work for what you want, you never take the easy way out and you are able to be one of the greatest friend on this planet. Kathi - You mean so much to me, whatever any1 ses or whatever happens i will always love you. In my honest opinion, i do not deserve any of these people but i am glad i have them in my life.