At a party, it was all going fine except minor disappointments, it was all going well when everyone then sprouted depression, i was so caught up in trying to help my friends as much as i could although none of them would let me talk to them, i got frustrated, i sat outside for an hour at least thinking about my existence and what i was put on earth for yet again. it was said i was needed as a friend was having bowel problems, i helped him out and then said i will not come out until someone needed me. 2 hours later, a friend of mine was angered to a certain extent of that not many people can cool him down, i cooled him down in about an hour or two. Which extended my theories on my my existence. i then distinctively remember being sat on the bed after being blacked out when a friend of mine had an attack or something. i was checking his blood pressure, his breathing and put him in the rest position, he was fine after but i feel as if i did the wrong thing, 2 more following attacks happened and i was there to try and help him through them. i felt as if i did the wrong thing, i felt as if my existence thoughts clouded my judgement, seeing as i know first aid and CPR, i failed him, if i was a medical attired job , i would have failed and maybe of cost a life.i wouldn't of lived with myself. After that, i couldn't sleep for a while, i started to get so depressed i thought there was nothing to make me happy again. Not even a day has passed and i am shocked and i keep reflecting on what i could've done.
